Ritual Feeding

Every morning I have a ritual for feeding Sparky. I will vary from it occasionally, but he hates it when I do. So here it is...

First, I get out of bed and walk out of my bedroom. Sparky will immediately head to the kitchen. Instead of going directly into the kitchen, I go to the office to logon to the net. Sparky ALWAYS thinks I'm going directly to the kitchen and when I don't, he backtracks and waits with a bit of annoyance.

After I get my computer dialing*, I head to the kitchen. Sparky then runs quickly to the kitchen and circles around his food dish. When I catch up to him he meows once or twice to tell me that he's hungry. I pick up his dish, walk over to the fridge, get his wet food and continue to the sink.

It is at this point that Sparky is possessed or has another personality take over. Every morning at this very moment, he attacks my leg. He usually doesn't break the skin. He will either bat both sides of my leg with his paws or wrap his paws around my leg and take a little bite. I always ask "what possessed you to do that?" He never answers.

Now I make his breakfast. It is a very precise thing for him. He needs to have a tablespoon of food and about an ounce of water mixed together. He likes to have the gravy diluted, you see. I walk the food over to his eating area and he stands on his hind legs to try to get a bite in early.

Once I've set the food down, Sparky's ritual begins. Standing up, he smells the food, then backs up and approaches it from another angle to smell it again. If he likes the smell, he will taste it. If he likes the taste, he will slowly sit down and then, in the tradition of the Roman feast, pig out.

There are times that he doesn't like the food. Instead of sitting down, he will walk away from it and sit at the doorway to the kitchen.

He will then look at me and with his eyes say "I, your god, am displeased with the offering you have given me. You have not followed the ritual to the letter and have given me an offering which is unacceptable. You have no standing with me. Go away." I think this is his high and mighty way of saying he wanted Chicken flavor instead of Fish, but that is just my guess.

*Yes, I have dial up at home. Yes, I know I'm a cheapskate.